Welcome

I am a woman of many thoughts. I have several blogs but this will cover a little bit of everything. Please be open minded when you enter my domain and be sure to input your thoughts and ideas, even if you don't agree. If we all agreed on everything, life would be pretty boring, wouldn't it?

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I remember

I remember the anxiety that gripped my stomach as I yelled "Te Amo!"
To my love at the other end of the hallway...

His response, that night on the phone -"Te Amo Tambien"
caused the numbness to leave my limbs.

I remember how he kissed me in front of my apartment
with the door cracked open and my parents listening
how my eyes were pools of ebony that afternoon
I remember the lecture I got.


I remember how my shoulder fit in the crook of his armpit
how I got a perfect nights rest with my head cradled on his chest
How I loved how he listened to me...
Watching him while he watched food network and thinking:
we could grow together... we should grow together...
I loved him instantly.


I remember how his arms found me in the cold
Warming me with his energy
He could comfort me without a word
Because through all of what the world threw at me
I knew I could depend on his love.
and that was the constant I needed to keep going


I remember driving off 65 No
onto University
Screaming as the wind whipped the moisture from my face
As I listened to Dru Hill's "We're not making love"
As I remembered the words slip off his lips
into my ear like poison "I can't do this anymore..."


I remember how my heart dropped when his brother told me...
"everything he told you is a lie"
I remember how... bit by bit I felt like dying
as bit by bit.. I found out it was true.


I remember how I felt when I read those words
Words that should have been mine
Words that were hers.
I remember how I felt when I heard those words
written for me
Spoken for her.
I can remember wishing I couldn't remember
why I loved him.
I remember where my tears soaked the carpet
It offered no solace.



Last night
he held me
I felt like I belonged there

he kissed my forehead, my cheek

I felt myself falling
I felt myself wanting
wanting to fall.. wanting to love
wanting to be loved
wanting to trust

so I pushed him away
and I'll continue pushing
until I have room enough to pull.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Update

So I've been gone for quite a while now. I've been trying to make stuff pop for me and the rest of the artists in Birmingham. I don't have much time to write a detailed blog but I will write what's going on in list format.

*At the Art, Beats + Lyrics in B'ham, someone stole my camera and equiptment. I have a new body but desperately need a good lense.

*I've been doing a lot of work for "The Birmingham Weekly". They actually had a picture of Malcolm that I took on their front page on my B day (July 9th) . It was great.

*I started a non profit organization called WAR (We are Rtists). The purpose is to bring the artists and art organizations in the city together so that we can all do better. For more information, join the WAR group on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/jessica.latten?ref=name#/group.php?gid=219008825076&ref=ts

and the WAR myspace group: www.myspace.com/492246097

*Business is doing ok. Could be better. I need a new supplier for shea butter. Any suggestions? I also need more photo shoots... any suggestions?

*I want to get back into school but am a little nervous because I can't pay last semester's tuition. I'm trying to figure something out.


So that's pretty much it. The next WAR meeting is Sunday Aug 16 at 3:00 pm in Malcolm's Reading Room. I suggest you and everyone you know to come out to it. It is for everyone's benefit really.

This is how it works. The artists unite. The artists make money. The artists bring flavor to the city. We now have events for tourists to attend and art for people to buy. We bring business to the city. Birmingham does better economically. Think about it.. and come to the meeting.


Love ya, bye bye!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Finance and Time: RANT

Hey everyone!

First I want you all to know that I love you very much. I really do.

However, there is a recession.

And I am an artist trying to succeed off of her art.

I am a photographer, I make shea butter, I do hair, I model and do graphic design.

When I get some gigs I will play my tuba and baritone.

When I get better at DJing and playing my bass, I'll do that too.


I do not work for anyone but myself.


That being said:


I do not work for free.


Again, I love you all very, very much. Don't think this means I love you any less.

But if my father insists on paying full price to retwist his hair every couple of weeks, I can't justify doing stuff free for other people.

I have bills that need to be paid.




I have had quite a few people ask me to do random things for them for free. Particularly take pictures. If you have asked me, don't think that I'm singling you out, because you are far from the only one who has asked. They have various reasonings for thinking that I would do it for free:

1. they don't think taking pictures is that much work.

Taking pictures professionally is a lot of work. Not only do you have to prepare your camera to come out and take pictures, you have to take the pictures and afterwards you have hours of editing. Then you have to meet again to show the pictures, or upload the pictures, then possible have them printed.

2. they think that taking pictures doesn't cost much.

You buy thousands of dollars worth of equiptment the have someone ask you to use it for free.

3. They say that they will help you get more business


This is a possibility but honestly, the way things are going for me right now, I post things on my facebook group and I get business. I'm already working on marketing strategies and I can do these strategies with pictures I already have.





Another thing: If I ever catch my pictures being used without giving credit where my pictures are displayed and preferably my contact information-- There is going to be hell to pay. Unless of course I've given you permission or you have paid me... which is pretty much one in the same thing.






FRIENDS AND FAMILY



DO NOT BE OFFENDED IF I HAVE TO PUT YOU INTO MY SCHEDULE.

As I said early: student, photographer, mixtress, actress, model, graphic designer and musician.

I wear alot of hats. I have alot of friends and I have alot of family who would like to see me.


A lot of people thing that just because I don't work for someone else that means that i'm just available. I'm not. Even if i change something around to do something for or with you, I had to change something around that I may not have a chance to do later.

Do not expect me to be able to drop what I'm doing the day of to hang out. Don't be offended because I have to look at my schedule when you want me to do something.


You should be happy that I have a schedule.

Some of my friends already know this, but if you ask to come over and I say that I'm going to be busy but you can come over any way, that doesn't necessarily mean that I will be home or even available to chill if i'm home. That means that you can chill at my spot if you would like/ need to for whatever reason.

Time is money so my goal is to keep both as organized and efficient as possible.



If anyone has a problem with this and wants to talk, leave a comment, message me, call me... whatever- just don't sit there and be mad.

I hope everyone understands.

Again me loves u long time.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Why I Love Red Necks

Hey folks,

So a couple of days ago, I posted a comment through my phone to my twitter, which in turn posted as my status on my facebook profile.

This is what the comment said:

"Jessica I love red necks. Too bad so many of them dont like black people."


I received a comment:

"Yep, because some of us call them rednecks, sis."



Now,

I'm not in the least bit racist. When I said red necks, I meant red necks. Like the people who say, I'm a red neck and damned proud of it. By the way, if you are reading this, please don't try to compare the term "red neck" with the word "Nigger"-

1. "red neck" hasn't been used for hundreds of years to keep down a race of people.
2. I've never heard a black person say "I'm proud to be a nigger" without trying to be funny or facitious.


Why do I love red necks? The are a lot of fun. Lemme tell you a story:

When I was a little girl, around 6 years old, I live in a trailer park in Columbia, South Carolina. I had a white baby sitter who had a trailer down the street from mine.

One day, I ended up going to her parents' house. I'm not sure why, maybe my mom was out of town, maybe it was a holiday and she was just bringing me along. Either way, I ended up spending the night over there.

The had a little girl there and she was so cool. I played dolls with her and we went out to play, we actually could go out and PLAY. My babysitter's parents lived in the middle of a wooded area. So when we went out to play, we could actually do things... like explore. That really excited me. I really didn't get out much as a little kid, so this was one of the more interesting experiences of my childhood.

So we explored the woods and planned out how we would make our club house and what we would put in it. She said we could make a bed out of leaves and logs and find soft things out to pad it with. I didn't really see how that could work, but I appreciated the idea. I wanted to saw things but the boys had the cutting tools and wouldn't let us use them... then again, I WAS only six. At the time I thought they were being sexist, but... I was pretty young.


However, I knew the parent's didn't like me. I was sure that they didn't when it came time for me to take a shower. All of a sudden, my baby sitter said they didn't have any wash cloths for me to use. Now, I may have been young, but I wasn't stupid. Everyone else had a wash cloth, and I had found out were they kept them. There were plenty of clean white towels and wash cloths in the hall closet, right next to the bath tub. I was handed a new bar of soap and was told to wash with my hands.

I'm sure they threw the soap away.


I love that dooood.... what's that dude's name? I don't know but he says "git 'er done" a lot. Its soo cute!


I'm saying all this to say that I had a hella lot of fun there anyway. I have a special spot in my heart for red necks. It's just too bad so many of them don't like black people.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Arsonist



She fruitlessly clings to a remembrence
love is a fire that consumes her soul
Third degree burns make it hard to forget
the pain that she once endured

Nerves are caulderized and she's rendered painless
Ice now flows like a river through veins that once
felt the effects of smooth wine.
A warmth that put a sparkle in her eyes.

Pools of ebony reflect her soul
and the fire stilll rages.
her memories an endless source of fuel
she hopes against hope of their eventual demise.

But third degree burns make it hard to forget...
the pain she once endured.
so she fruitlessly clings to the remembrence
of playing with fire and remaining unharmed

Monday, February 9, 2009

Indigo Tree, LLC

Introducing Indigo Tree, LLC.


That's right, I got my State and County peddler's license today. As well as my standing as an LLC and a Federal Tax ID number.

I'm so happy.

Now what?


I mean, besides having to pay taxes... (still working out the kinks on that one.)

What am I to do? I would really like some guidence or some help from someone who is already a sucessful business owner and could point me in the right correction.

So if you are reading this and you know of anyone who is willing to help, let me know, please.


Man, I had such a hard time with this damned web site today. First, I'm trying to do things quickly but I want to have a pretty site, so I go looking for some templates. Finally find a few that I like, and I keep getting errors every time I try to upload them. Finally, I decide to just use one of blogger's templates, but the updated one's sucked so I tried to use a classic. Found out that people can't follow you with a classic template. So then, I got an updated template and had to tweak it. I couldn't figure out why I had only one column. So... I started a new blog from scratch and copied that code for this blog, then deleted the new blog.


It was a pain, as you can tell.

Just saw the Zeta's come out in Talledega. I was pretty excited about that. Proud too, those Sisters were on it.



... yea, so that's about it. Got a looong day tomorrow. Holla.

p.s.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
THROW BACK BLOG-

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

booger on my forehead



Sooo


This is what happened to me lately

~He got me
~Medicine delivered
~Gave Blood
~Swimming
~Booger on forehead
~Duck Hunt


~He got me

The other day, my frat from kkpsi came over to teach me some strolls. We had fun. I had gone to church with him earlier that day. I'm not really feeling his church though. Anyway, I had trouble getting my slide down, I got it now. Eventually I started feeling bad cuz it was "that time of the month" and I laid down. He was watching tv and eventually came over and rubbed my belly (cuz it hurt). Eventually I fell asleep and thats when I had to get up and let him out.. so I could lock the door back. So... I gave him a hug bye and he was trying to hold me a little too long. So I let go and grabbed the door... he hugged me again. I knew what was coming.. So I opened the door and tried to kinda push him out but he caught me off guard and smacked me. I was dissapointed. I thought I was going to have another David..... or something close.. someone in the frat I could just chill with and talk to without having to worry about him trying to kiss me. Or do other things to me for that matter. Thank God that it lasted about 1/4 of a second and he left right after that. I don't know how to approach that situation. "I just wanna be your friend" will just run him off.. *sigh*

~The next morning I felt so bad I was in the bed at 12pm. I called Law and he brought me some Ibuprofen... I felt so much better after that! Pudd told me this joke once about a dude on death row. He had one last wish and he asked for a tampon. They said why... He said.. cuz I can run, jump, skip, play and swim!!

get it?

haha

~Anyway, I gave blood later that day. I still feel kinda drained of energy. I'm surprised that I could give it. Usually when I'm on my period my iron is too low.

~Then I went swimming. I had fun. There was a butt load of people there too. When I left, I started to walk back.. I didn't drive down there. Someone offered me a ride up and i took it.. I was kind of tired at that point. Anyway... he was asking if he could chill w/ me that night. I told him I was chillin with my friends. (he was straight, but I didn't know him that well for him to want to "chill" with me. He said he was pretty sure he would see me later. I said ok. Went in my room and looked in the mirror. There was something pale and slimy on my forehead near my eyebrow. .... There was a booger on my forehead.

eww..

And he was trying to holla at me anyway?

eww..

I know he saw it cuz the light came on when I opened the door.... erwwww....

That's gross.

how the HELL did i get a BOOGER on my FOREHEAD???


i don't know.


So for all of you that think i just talk about other people on my blog... don't say I never said anything about myself.

I gotta admit... that's embarrasing.


So I went over law, marcus and snoop's house. We had that old school nintendo out. It was fun. I played mario and duck hunt. I'm so bout it bout it... I'll mirk some ducks mayne!!



So anyway.. Jennifer, Isabel, Tiffany and this other girl I know are trying to see who can get the most numbers in a month. The catch is.... you have to make them think you are actually getting their number because you like them (unlike me, who will just walk up to someone and be like: what's your number?)


I don't know if I want to get in on it... it seems wrong in a way.. but dang.. I'm asking for a number... not proposing. hmm... I'll ponder on it a little.

By the way.. my little cousin gave me a nick name... They have been giving everyone they talk to on a regular cave names. Mine is thunder. Thunder is strong.

Thunder tell world bye bye.

Thunder say holla.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

So....

Great News People!


I got up the courage to visit a barber shop and sell my shea butter the other day. Turned out pretty good. Since I've popped my barber shop cherry,I'm not so nervous about going there to sell it anymore. I can now expand my horizon.

Funny incident:

So, I don't have labels for the product yet. I know. I know. I've got good reasons though. What? You say excuses are for assholes? Or makes an ass.. of whatever it is? I'm sorry, I'll do better, next time, I promise! Anyway, I'm telling this guy about the product and he was like: "what's in it?" so.. .I tell him the ingredients. He's like " Well, I don't want to say I don't trust you or anything but you don't have a label so I don't know what's in it. I know these lotions I use are probably not good for me but I feel like if I get it from the government, it's at least safe..."


WTF?

Number 1: Just because it has a LABEL, doesn't mean that the product is from the GOVERNMENT.

Number 2: The FDA doesn't give a DAMN about you. Not one. Think about it... its the Food and DRUG administration. Trust me, they don't care. If you don't believe me, think about the millions of people taking unneeded medications out there for things that can be easily corrected by just having a healthy diet and some excersize.


People are just slow sometimes.

Another conversation:

Me: I'm Jessica and I have this shea butter that I whip with other ingredients and its really good for you.
Other person: O... so what is it?
Me: Shea butter that I mix with other ingredients (I name the ingredients I mix the shea butter with)
Other person: you know, you should try to talk to the guy next door, he sells that stuff.
Me: I know, I got the shea butter from him.
Other person: But wait, you just said you made the shea butter.
Me: >:-[



Like.... dude, did you even attempt to listen to what I just said?


Go read a book, maybe it will help to expand your thought process, I don't know.



Moving on.





Our black person of today is Professor Sonia Sanchez.
I absolutely adore this woman. I met her a while back and just being in her presence, learning and talking to her changed my life for the better.

Who is Dr. Sonia Sanchez?
She is a famous poet who was heavily influential in the Black Arts Movement, the Civil Rights Movement and was the first to create a course on black women and literature in the US.

To me she is just an inspiration and a blessing to come across. She made me want to follow my dreams and do what was necessary to suceed. She helped me to become more aware of trying to remain positive. To those of you who know me, I STILL haven't been able to make a week without saying anything negative. She challenged us to go a full week without saying anything negative about anyone else. Someone else said she said to go a full week withough saying anything negative. I've been trying to do the latter for a while now. I can't wait to be able to call her and tell here I made it.


Anywayz, I'm about to hit the sac. Gotta big day tomorrow. I'm gonna do what I have to in order sell 20 containers of Indigo Tree.

Welcome

Welcome girls, boys, women and men to my humble abode. You will never really know what to expect in here because it will vary just as drastically as the thoughts in my mind do.

A little about me:
I'm a 23 yo African American woman.
I am a student at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, majoring in pychology and minoring in spanish.
I am a member of both a fraternity and a sorority: Kappa Kappa Psi National Honorary Band Fraternity Incorporated and Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Incorporated. (Ironically the colors for both of those organizations are Blue and White and with K K Psi, a touch of gold.)
I play the Baritone, Tuba and Bass Guitar.
I'm still learning the Bass. My parents are divorced and I have four families because both my parents are remarried.
I'm am biologically the only child but I have three step sisters and one step brother.
I am a photographer.
I am the owner of Indigo Tree.. .I sell shea butter products.
I am a model.
I also do natural hair and am the creator of a very large group on Facebook called- Natural Hair.
Other than the above four occupations, I have no job.
I love to dance.
I love ART.
My dream is to start a non profit organization that teaches adolescents how to hustle their talents.
I am big on human rights.
I used to be the General Manager of BlazeRadio at UAB and would still like to DJ one day.
I plan to go to grad school and possibly med school (If I can keep my act together).
The only meat I eat is fish.
I am very concerned about all things natural and healthy for the mind body soul and spirit.
I am a raw foods advocate, although I have back slidden atrociously.
Of course there is a plethera of other things to know about about me, but you will learn quite a few of these things by just reading my blog from time to time.

Please feel to leave any comments, however good or bad. I love constructive conversation and even critisism.

blog rating